modesty heart checklist

Modesty Heart Check
By Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore and Janelle Bradshaw

“…Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness-with good works.” 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Start with a Heart Check…

"How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance." John MacArthur


* What statement do my clothes make about my heart?
* In choosing what clothes to wear today, whose attention do I desire and whose approval do I crave? Am I seeking to please God or impress others?
* Is what I wear consistent with biblical values of modesty, self-control and respectable apparel, or does my dress reveal an inordinate identification and fascination with sinful cultural values?
* Who am I trying to identify with through my dress? Is the Word of God my standard or is it the latest fashion?
* Have I solicited the evaluation of other godly individuals regarding my wardrobe?
* Does my clothing reveal an allegiance to the gospel or is there any contradiction between my profession of faith and my practice of godliness?

So, I’m ready to leave the house, but I still have to do a modesty check. What are some things I should look for as I stand in front of my mirror?

Starting at the top…
* When I am wearing a loose-fitting blouse or scoop neck, can I see anything when I lean over? If so, I need to remember to place my hand against my neckline when I bend down.
* A word on purse straps: How could a purse possibly be a modesty concern? When you’re wearing the strap across your chest. Regardless of the shirt you’ve got on, this accentuates your chest and creates a temptation for men.
* If I am wearing a button-down top, I need to turn sideways and move around to see if there are any gaping holes that expose my chest. If there are, I’ve got to grab the sewing box and pin between the buttons.
* Am I wearing a spaghetti-strap, halter-top, or see-through blouse? Not even pins will fix this problem! Most guys find these very unhelpful. It’s time to go back to the closet.
* Can I see the lace or seam of my bra through my shirt? In this case, seamless bras are a better option.
* One final shirt check: Does it reveal any part of my cleavage? Does my midriff show when I raise my hands above my head? Is my shirt just plain too tight? If the answer is “yes” to any one of these questions, then I need to change my outfit.
* Are my arms or any part of my body exposed by see-thru or sheer covering?

Moving on down…
*Does my midriff (or underwear) show when I bend over or lift my hands? If so, is it because my skirt is too low? Either my shirt needs to be longer or I need to find a skirt that sits higher.
* I also have to turn around to see if what I’m wearing is too tight around my derriere, or if the outline of my underwear shows. If so, I know what I have to do!
* The “sit-down” check applies to my skirt or dress as well. And I must remember to keep my skirt pulled down and my knees together when I’m seated.
* And speaking of skirts, watch out for those slits! Does it reveal too much when I walk? Pins are also helpful here.
* Before I leave, I need to give my skirt a “sunlight check.” Is it see through? If so, I need a slip.
* Finally, I must remember to do this modesty check with my shoes on. High heels make my dress or skirt appear shorter.
* And don’t forget – this all applies to formal wear as well.



Modesty Check@ 2002 Sovereign Grace Ministries
Republished in Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood
by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre (Crossway Books)

Tonya

Janelle talks on modesty

Janelle Bradshaw, one of my favorite girls from Girl Talk, has this to say about the issue of modesty:

"Study God's Word. Ask Him to give you a conviction that comes from Scripture. He will be gracious to answer that prayer. Because the truth of it, ladies, all of us are being shaped and all of us are being molded. The question becomes,'Who or what is molding us?' Are you being molded by the world's standards and definitions of immodesty or does holy Scripture shape your practice?"

She goes on to say,"Any biblical discussion about modesty begins by addressing the heart ... modesty is humility expressed in dress."

You can listen to the entire talk here.

Janelle's father, CJ Mahaney, has given a free download of the chapter in his book, Worldliness: Resisting the Seduction of a Fallen World, in which he discusses modesty. You can access it here.

Here's an excerpt:

A Pastor’s Concern

It’s been almost two thousand years since Paul penned his letter, but 1 Timothy 2:9 remains a pastoral concern. Today the issue is immodest and sensual clothing more than ostentatious attire. And it’s no small challenge to address this matter. I know the great risk for offense or misunderstanding that I take by broaching this topic, the potential that you may feel I am sinfully judging or wrongly accusing.

Please know that I don’t write as a self-appointed critic. I am simply a concerned
pastor who charitably assumes that most Christian women who dress immodestly are
ignorant of the war with lust that men confront on a daily basis. They probably don’t have a clue what goes on in a man’s mind and what effect their bodies have on the eyes and hearts of men young and old.

But I want no one to be ignorant after reading this chapter. That’s why I want you to
hear from two young men who represent countless others. I hope their struggles and
temptations — which are not unique, but common to men — will motivate you to pursue
modesty and self-control for the sake of your brothers in Christ. First, a day in the life of a college student pursuing purity:

Each and every day on campus is a battle. A battle against my sin, a battle
against temptation, a battle against my depraved mind. Every morning I have
to cry out for mercy, strength, and a renewed conviction to flee youthful lust.
The Spirit is faithful to bring me the renewal I need and to prepare me to do
war against my sin, yet temptations still exist.

I’m thankful God has created me to be attracted to women. However, campus
is a loaded minefield. There are girls everywhere, and it is guaranteed that I
will pass some attractive girls as I walk in between classes. To make it through
the day unscathed, I either have to be actively engaging my mind and spirit in
praying, quoting Scripture, listening to worship music, or looking at the
sidewalk. Many days it takes all four to be safe. . . .

The thing that women do not seem to fully grasp is that the temptation
toward lust does not stop. It is continual. It is aggressive. And it does all it can
to lead men down to death. And women have a choice to help or deter the
goal and purpose of lust. Sometimes when I see a girl provocatively dressed,
I’ll say to myself, “She probably doesn’t even know that 101 guys are going to
devour her in their minds today. But then again, maybe she does.” To be
honest, I don’t know the truth, the truth of why she chooses to dress the way
she does, the way she chooses to walk, the way she chooses to act. I don’t
know because I’ve never sat down with a girl and asked why. All I need to
know is that the way she presents herself to the world is bait for my sinful
mind to latch onto and I need to avoid it at all costs.

For the most part, the church serves as a sanctuary from the continual barrage
of temptation toward sin. However, the church’s members are not yet free
from sin, and there are girls who are ignorant and unaware of men’s sinful
tendencies.

I must confess that even church can have several mines scattered about. To the
girls who are ignorant, please serve your brother in Christ and have your dad
screen your wardrobe. Ask your dad how you can better choose holiness over
worldliness. He’s a guy, and he knows more than you on the issue.

And to the girls who don’t follow the pattern of the world: thank you. Thank
you a million times over. You are following Scripture’s commands, and you
are helping your brothers in the process.

I commend this young man’s tenacious fight for holiness. And I echo his gratitude to
all women who choose to dress modestly—thank you a million times over. You’re truly
serving your brothers in Christ by your obedience to God’s Word.

As Christian women in the church you can be either a blessing or a distraction as the
second young man explains:

The one place I might think I wouldn’t have to face as much temptation is at
church. But this is not always the case. When ladies I’m friends with dress
immodestly, it definitely has a negative effect on our friendship. When she
dresses immodestly, it doesn’t make it easy to see her as a sister in Christ.
There’s a constant battle going on as I’m interacting with her. Communication becomes more difficult, but I’m also trying to fight temptation.

I also think that some ladies aren’t aware that even the little things can distract
guys a lot — showing even a little part of their stomach, wearing a bag that has
a strap that goes between their breasts, etc.

I’m so grateful for the friendships God has given me over the last year and a
half and for the godly ladies in my small group. I’m so appreciative of the
sacrifice that these ladies make to glorify God and to serve and care for the
guys.

I heard a story of one of the ladies in our small group who went shopping and
really liked a shirt she was trying on. But then she thought, “No, I can’t do
this to the guys.” That was the first time I had ever heard of anything like that,
and it made me so grateful. It is such a blessing to have friends who care for
me enough to be selfless and to sacrifice what might look attractive in order to
help me and other guys with sexual lust.

When ladies dress modestly, it’s attractive and it makes me want to hang out
with them. I think modesty is so attractive and helpful in friendships; it makes
it easier for a friendship to be centered around God and for fellowship to be
unhindered.


Tonya
(my computer is not cooperating .. sorry for all of the unusual spacing!)

when a fig leaf isn't enough

Here's an excellent two part lecture on modesty:

When a Fig Leaf Isn't Enough: Modesty Issues for Today’s Church (Lisa Hughes)

You can listen here and download the handouts.


"Girls should show no more skin than the average guy." An anonymous male quoted by Allison Bos in her thesis on Modesty.

In John MacArthur’s commentary on 1 Timothy, he made this statement about the
heart, “How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and
dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or, is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty, or worse to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and her appearance.”

Tonya

quote on modesty

Richard Baxter, the 17th century English Puritan pastor, once told the women in his
congregation-in no uncertain terms-that they were to practice wardrobe modesty to
avoid stoking the fires of lust in the hearts of men.

Said Baxter: "And you must not lay a stumbling block in their way, nor blow up the fire of their lust, nor make your ornaments snares but you must walk among sinful persons as you would do with a candle among straw or gunpowder, or else you may see the flame which you would not foresee, when it is too late to quench it."

Let's talk about modesty for the next few days. What does modesty look like for women who are believers in Christ?

Tonya

Dedication to the product

Justin Taylor has a great clip of a Home Shopping Network disaster. Check it out!
Scroll down to the November 20th post.

Taj

sneak peak

What a precious baby! I had a great time with my first newborn session.
My family is certainly giving me lots of opportunities to practice.
Here's a sneak peak.

The Dangers of Black Friday

A special post for some wonderful friends (you know who you are!)

Remember back just a few short years ago:

4:30 am
day after Thanksgiving
groggy ladies
seats full
cloud of dust swirling behind us
darkness
curvy hills
excitement
non stop chatter

COW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

swerving
screaming
drinks spilling
purses flying
uncontrollable laughter

I am praying that your trip this year is less eventful! I would love to be with you as you make the adventure!

Tonya