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Monday, April 16, 2012

a little girl in a church pew

I am sure few people heard her. Maybe those who did hear found it a bit annoying. A little girl in a church pew, holding a hymnal, singing her heart out to God. But she wasn't singing the same words as everyone else. Words like Daddy, Mommy, boy, were coming out in unusual patterns, along with sounds that could not be made into words. She sang quite loud. Her smile was contagious. She didn't seem to mind that she was singing her own kind of song. She was praising God.

To those around it may have not seemed significant. Others would not have understood. I watched that little girl sing with tears burning in the corners of my eyes. I know the story. You see, that little girl is my daughter.

As I watch her sing, my mind is flooded with memories. A little girl who didn't know how to nurse when she was born. Hours of syringe feedings, coaxing that little mouth to learn to eat. A little girl who wore a bib until she was over two years old because of constant drool. A little girl who had to labor so hard to form her first sounds. The hours poured into making her first word possible. A little girl who looks to her mommy for help when someone asks her what her name is because she hasn't yet learned how to say it. A little girl who sits quietly in her Sunday School class and cannot participate in the conversations the children are having around her.

It's hard. People give her strange looks. Children don't always understand and they say rude comments to her. "What's wrong with you?" "Why don't you talk?" Her face falls. I fight back tears. I want to protect her from all the hurt, yet I know I can't. So we point her to Christ.

My husband and I tell her about our wonderful Savior who made her just the way she is to bring Him glory. We teach her how the world isn't as it should be because of sin and sometimes our bodies just don't work like they should. We teach her that she has a sinful heart and needs a Savior to give her a new heart. We teach her that one day Christ will return and set all things right. We tell her that He has a wonderful plan for her life and when she is finally able to form her words, she will be able to tell others about Jesus Christ,who saves people from their sins.

God is the giver of grace. We know that this ongoing trial in our lives is for our good and will make us become more like Christ. He is good and we praise Him for our sweet little girl.

We still have a long road ahead until our little girl can speak well. In the meantime, we tell her it's okay to sing the words she knows. Sing them loud!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

God Bless you Tonya! that little girl is one of the sweetest, most loving, little girls I know.. Her face lights up everytime she makes eye contact with anyone ,and her voice speaks through her actions:) God does have a plan for every little child. Even if sometimes we can't see it, it makes us more strong to trust his plan (sometimes) :/ Praying for you Tonya, that you may be a light and lead your family to our Risen Savior! God Bless you!

Jill said...

Oh Tonya. Thankful I don't have my makeup on yet :) My heart aches for you guys. We love you and are praying for Kaci!

Abbie said...

What a sweet little girl - I would have loved to hear her singing her little heart out to Jesus...no matter what words or sounds she was making:) I really enjoyed being with you guys last Sunday and both your little girls are just precious:) I'm sure Satan will try to discourage both Kaci and your family...but we are so blessed because JESUS REIGNS!!!

Angela Marinelli said...

I remember how much she looked forward to holding Ainsley and how big she would smile with anticipation as i would bring her to her lap. She has such a loving and nurturing heart. The Lord has great plans for Kacie!

Jennifer said...

Love you guys!

Unknown said...

Love this story! It reminded me of my own little brother who sang with out "real" so loudly that I was embarrassed. I was only a teenager and we were at a new church visiting my grandma. The preacher told me not to shush him and that we should all sing with such joy. I can not wait to see what God does with your little girl and what glory will come out of it all!