Don't Make Me Count to Three (Part 3)

"Don't make me count to three!" "You just wait till your daddy gets home!" "You don't want me to come in there!" "Do you want a spanking?" "If you don't straighten up, you're going to get it."
Sound familiar? No matter how you phrase them, these types of statements all have one thing in common: They aid parents in avoiding discipline issues.
All parents want their children to obey, yet fail to get obedience. Some threaten. Some bribe. Some use "time out". Others simply ignore acts of disobedience. Could it be that parents avoid these issues because they are uncertain of how to handle them?
..Ginger Plowman, Preface to Don't Make Me Count to Three

Worldly Technique: Counting

There are those parents who say, "If you don't do this by the time I count to three, you're going to get it, Mister!" They count: "One" ... the child doesn't move; "Two" ... the child still doesn't move; "Two and a half" ... and so it goes. Children will rise to the standard that the parents set. If you don't expect your child to obey until the count of three, then he will not obey until you count. Why not expect instant obedience? This standard leaves no room for question or confusion. It's much easier and much more peaceful. If my child is stepping off the curb into a busy street, I don't want to have to count to three in order for him to obey.

Most importantly, we are training them and preparing them to obey Jesus. Parents are often responsible for the habits of their children. We want them to be in the habit of obeying us the first time so that when they surrender to the Lordship of Christ they will find it easier to obey Him the first time. So before you begin your count to three, ask yourself, "Do I want my child the be in the habit of obeying God the first time, the second time, or the third time?"

(taken from Chapter 11 of "Don't Make Me Count to Three")

Tonya

whales

(note about the videos - the shakiness of the camera was from the constant rocking of the boat. We could hardly stand up without holding onto something. The noise was from the extreme wind.)



We enjoyed some of God's wonderful creatures today. Whales! What amazing animals! We went on a whale watch tour out of Provincetown, MA. That's the town right on the tip of Cape Cod .. last stop before the ocean.






Our guide said our trip today was unusual. The normal amount of whales spotted are around two or three. We saw between 40 and 50. Unbelievable! There were whales on every side of the boat. Wish you could have been along .. one of the neatest sights we have ever seen.


our whale watching boat


ready to go


Kaci is afraid of the ocean water so she cried for a little while and then snuggled up in my lap and went to sleep


having the time of her life


loving the boat ride


Tonya

bye-bye training wheels

Four years old and riding a bike! Mia asked her daddy to take the training wheels off on Monday and the next day she was riding on her own, not even needing help to start off.

Tonya

Don't Make Me Count to Three (Part 2)

"Don't make me count to three!" "You just wait till your daddy gets home!" "You don't want me to come in there!" "Do you want a spanking?" "If you don't straighten up, you're going to get it."
Sound familiar? No matter how you phrase them, these types of statements all have one thing in common: They aid parents in avoiding discipline issues.
All parents want their children to obey, yet fail to get obedience. Some threaten. Some bribe. Some use "time out". Others simply ignore acts of disobedience. Could it be that parents avoid these issues because they are uncertain of how to handle them?
..Ginger Plowman, Preface to Don't Make Me Count to Three


Worldly Method #2: Reasoning with the child

Mom asks her six-year-old, "Honey, don't you want to come and each lunch now?""No, thanks, Mom, I'm playing with my cars."
"Oh, but Sweetie, your hot dog will get cold if you don't come now."
"Well, I'd rather come when I'm done playing."
"But if you'll come on now and eat, I thought we could go to the park after lunch."
"Okay, Mom, I'll be there in a minute."

Here Mom is attempting to talk her son into obedience, rather than simply instructing him and expecting him to obey. Parents who try to reason with their child normally end up frustrated and quite often outwitted. And they usually wind up resorting to a bribe in order to get the response they're after. Reasoning with small children in an attempt to get them to obey causes confusion because it places them in a position that they are not mature or responsible enough to handle. It erases the line of authority between the adult and the child and places the child on a peer level with the parent. Instead, clearly instruct your child and expect obedience.
(taken from Chapter 9 of "Don't Make Me Count to Three")

"Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." Ephesians 6:1

Compare the biblical advice above with the latest issue of Parents magazine:

"Teacher Tip: Look for ways to give your preschooler choices. At cleanup time, teachers let kids decide how they'd like to get the job done ("Would you rather pretend we're jumping frogs or galloping horses as we put things away?"). Giving your child options will make her feel empowered and encourage her to cooperate, says Zebooker ... she feels she has some say in the matter."

"Teacher Tip: Instead of telling a 3-year-old that he must share, as if he'll take turns. "Say, 'I see you don't want your sister to touch your trains right now, but will you let her play with them when your done?'" suggests Johanna Booth-Miner, a director at Live & Learn Early Learning Center, in Lee, New Hampshire. This approach gives your child a sense of control.."
(aken from Parents,July 2009, p.88-90)

REALLY? That last line is too much for me! "This approach gives your child a sense of control." I don't see the verse in Ephesians saying that parents are to obey their children?

I urge you to examine who you listen to when it comes to parenting advice. Are you receiving your instruction from God's Word or the wisdom of man? If the source is not using Scripture as their basis, it's in error and you should not listen to them. (Unfortunately, I have never heard Dr. Phil or Oprah use Scripture to back any of their advice.)

I know I have failed many times with my children and have slipped into "worldly methods" of parenting. I am so glad God is faithful to show me the areas I need improvement in and gently call me back to Scripture. (Many days that is on an hour by hour basis!)

You might be wondering, "If these worldly methods are wrong, how am I supposed to train up my children?" Hang on, it's coming!

Tonya

Don't Make Me Count to Three

"Do you find yourself threatening, repeating your instructions, or raising your voice in an attempt to get your children to obey? Are you discouraged because it seems you just can't reach the heart of your child? Through personal experience and the practical application of Scripture, Ginger Plowman encourages and equips moms to reach past the outward behavior of their children and dive deeply into the issues of the heart. Ginger's candid approach will help moms move beyond the frustrations of not knowing how to handle issues of disobedience and into a confident and well-balanced approach to raising their children."

Here is one of my favorite resources on biblical parenting. The next few posts are going to be from this book. The Bible has answers for every circumstance in life and it is filled with wisdom on parenting. After looking at the latest issue of Parents today, I was reminded of the emptiness of man's wisdom apart from Scripture.

Let's look at some of the world's methods used in an attempt to obtain obedience over the next few days. I would love to hear some feedback!

(taken from Chapter 9 of Don't Make Me Count to Three)

Worldly Method #1: Bribing

I once observed a mom in Wal-Mart telling her two-year-old to come to her. The child ignored her mom and took off running the other way. In desperation Mom called out, "Come to Mommy and I'll give you a sucker." Immediately the child went from hearing impaired to exceptional hearing and came quickly to Mom's side. This is not training for obedience; it's rewarding the child for stubbornness. Children should be taught to obey because it is right and because it pleases God, not to get a reward. Giving them a reward in order to get them to obey encourages them in selfishness. Their motive for obeying is, "I'll obey for what I can get out of it."

Tonya

Mind Benders

A little something to stretch your mind for the weekend~



The first names of five people are Beverly, Charles, Monica, Nelson, and Ruth.
Their last names are Atwood, Porter, Stafford, Thompson, and Ward. Find each person's full name.


1. Ruth and Porter went hiking yesterday with Monica and Stafford.

2. Beverly enrolled her son, and Atwood enrolled her daughter, at the same nursery school.

3. Thompson and Ruth don't have children.

4. Charles, who has been in the hospital for the past three days, was visited today by Porter and Nelson.



A big shout out to the first person with the correct answer!

(This is in the 3-6th grade level of Mind Benders Book A4. We are going to use these for logic this next year of school! Check out their website.)

Harder one to follow next week!
Tonya

birdie

I have always disliked nicknames. I have said many times that my children will never have a nickname. I have also said that in the event that my child got a nickname from someone, I would never call them by that nickname.

Well, Taj gave Kaci a nickname when she was little and it stuck. Birdie. Guess who calls her that more than her daddy? That's right!

Here's a little history of the nickname. It started before she was born. I fell in love with Wren as her middle name. Taj didn't like it and would mention things such as, "You actually want to name your child after a bird?" Thus the nickname had its beginnings. As an infant, Kaci was extremely tiny. Her legs were so little, they looked just like bird legs! Poor baby looked like she was ill! She was in the 3 percentile in length and weight and when she was around 9 months, she began to drop lower. Her Dr. was concerned and we had to go through blood testing as well as label her with "failure to thrive". Thankfully, nothing came of it and she was fine, just tiny. During that time Taj starting calling her "Birdie", "K-Birdie", and "Birdie-K's". I hated it a first but it soon grew on me and to my own horror, I found myself calling her by those same names!

I now make every effort to call her Kaci but if you pay close attention, at times you will still hear me calling "Birdie"!

We love her!
Tonya

Broken Down House

The Don't Song

New England Aquarium

train stop .. you just wait on the platform

the train ride is the kids' favorite part of going to Boston




Kaci enjoyed playing with the ticket cards the lady gave her on the train



The New England Aquarium



watching the penguin exhibit



our view of the ocean while we ate lunch outside the aquarium

ready to watch the 3D Under the Sea imax show

Mia and Kaci were excited about the show until it started .. they both cried and hated it

the train schedule in South Station in Boston .. they would post which track your train was leaving from and you had approx. 10 min. to walk to the track and get on before it took off .. not enough time in my opinion! (business men, yes, not a family of five!)


We had a great day and the kids loved all of the sea creatures! Perfect trip since we will be studying Apologia: Swimming Creatures of the Fifth Day next year in Science. Typical home school mom .. always planning! HA

Tonya

it's time

Kaci brought the wipes and a pamper to the dining room and laid them by my chair while I was coloring with Mia. She tapped my arm and pointed to her supplies. I asked, "Did you poop?" She nodded her head and smiled.

We bought a potty seat tonight at Wal-Mart. Not sure how it will go? Anyone ever potty trained someone who can't talk? Could be an interesting summer!


Kaci thought it was great fun to try out her potty seat

daddy's girls

If Taj is here in the mornings when the girls wake up, they both want him to hold them while they curl up in their blankets. Too precious!

Tonya

summer is here

We have just finished our second year of home school! I enjoyed learning about so many things and Grazzin did great in his work. Now it's time for playgrounds, swimming pools, and golf in the back yard!

Tonya

neighborhood walk

We have been getting out more often now that it is finally warm here. Mia loves to push her baby doll instead of riding her bike. She is going to be a great mommy one day!


Mia's favorite thing in life .. baby dolls





the paci and toy she brought along .."for when she cries!"


Tonya

new look

My favorite blog, Girl Talk, now has a new look as well as many new features. Go check it out!

Make sure to go the Resources page and listen to some of their lectures. They are excellent! You can access the link here.

Just a few of the topics:

True Beauty
Watch Your Man
What a Mother Can’t Do Without
The Soul of Modesty


Tonya