Don't Make Me Count to Three (Part 2)

"Don't make me count to three!" "You just wait till your daddy gets home!" "You don't want me to come in there!" "Do you want a spanking?" "If you don't straighten up, you're going to get it."
Sound familiar? No matter how you phrase them, these types of statements all have one thing in common: They aid parents in avoiding discipline issues.
All parents want their children to obey, yet fail to get obedience. Some threaten. Some bribe. Some use "time out". Others simply ignore acts of disobedience. Could it be that parents avoid these issues because they are uncertain of how to handle them?
..Ginger Plowman, Preface to Don't Make Me Count to Three


Worldly Method #2: Reasoning with the child

Mom asks her six-year-old, "Honey, don't you want to come and each lunch now?""No, thanks, Mom, I'm playing with my cars."
"Oh, but Sweetie, your hot dog will get cold if you don't come now."
"Well, I'd rather come when I'm done playing."
"But if you'll come on now and eat, I thought we could go to the park after lunch."
"Okay, Mom, I'll be there in a minute."

Here Mom is attempting to talk her son into obedience, rather than simply instructing him and expecting him to obey. Parents who try to reason with their child normally end up frustrated and quite often outwitted. And they usually wind up resorting to a bribe in order to get the response they're after. Reasoning with small children in an attempt to get them to obey causes confusion because it places them in a position that they are not mature or responsible enough to handle. It erases the line of authority between the adult and the child and places the child on a peer level with the parent. Instead, clearly instruct your child and expect obedience.
(taken from Chapter 9 of "Don't Make Me Count to Three")

"Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." Ephesians 6:1

Compare the biblical advice above with the latest issue of Parents magazine:

"Teacher Tip: Look for ways to give your preschooler choices. At cleanup time, teachers let kids decide how they'd like to get the job done ("Would you rather pretend we're jumping frogs or galloping horses as we put things away?"). Giving your child options will make her feel empowered and encourage her to cooperate, says Zebooker ... she feels she has some say in the matter."

"Teacher Tip: Instead of telling a 3-year-old that he must share, as if he'll take turns. "Say, 'I see you don't want your sister to touch your trains right now, but will you let her play with them when your done?'" suggests Johanna Booth-Miner, a director at Live & Learn Early Learning Center, in Lee, New Hampshire. This approach gives your child a sense of control.."
(aken from Parents,July 2009, p.88-90)

REALLY? That last line is too much for me! "This approach gives your child a sense of control." I don't see the verse in Ephesians saying that parents are to obey their children?

I urge you to examine who you listen to when it comes to parenting advice. Are you receiving your instruction from God's Word or the wisdom of man? If the source is not using Scripture as their basis, it's in error and you should not listen to them. (Unfortunately, I have never heard Dr. Phil or Oprah use Scripture to back any of their advice.)

I know I have failed many times with my children and have slipped into "worldly methods" of parenting. I am so glad God is faithful to show me the areas I need improvement in and gently call me back to Scripture. (Many days that is on an hour by hour basis!)

You might be wondering, "If these worldly methods are wrong, how am I supposed to train up my children?" Hang on, it's coming!

Tonya